How to survive... in a country whose language is unknown to you

(or whose language you are not fluent in)

This is what I have learned during a year in Canada and a Europe trip:

Rule #1: Wave and smile

This is the simplest and most basic of all rules. Occasionally you might wanna cut out the waving part, but smiling ALWAYS works (or at least in 99% of the cases). It propitiates the opposite party no matter if it is appropriate or not.
You might have experienced the situation yourself: you are in a country far far away from home, have met new people (locals) and are having a conversation with them...or at least they are having a conversation, you are physically present but have no clue what they are talking about. Suddenly the conversation stops and everybody is looking at you, with that expectant impression on their faces. So what do you do now? You smile. This will result in either:
a.) them smiling back and continuing their conversation
b.) them smiling back, realizing that you have no clue what they are talking about and then explaining the topic to you
c.) them looking extremely irritated
If c.) happens you have hit the 1% chance of being in a conversation where a smile is inappropriate... this means that the conversation must have been about something either sad or aggravating. A cough works very well as a transition between your smile and the more appropriate facial expression (try the disbelieving one first, then the sad one).

Rule #2: Don't believe in British English

or: asking for rubbers in French classes is inappropriate. This is true for all those of you who have, just like me, had British English in school. Whatever they told you: do not believe it! Who on earth would have guessed that asking for something as innocent as a rubber (or at least as innocent as in British English) during a French class causes the whole class to burst out into laughter, and me to turn bright red. It turned out that what I actually wanted would have been called an eraser in American English...what I had asked for was a condom. Therefore: always study the American English-British English section of your dictionary before traveling to an English speaking country.

Rule #3: The hungrier you are the closer you should stick to things you know at the menu (or at least can identify...)

Coming back from a five hour sightseeing trip, tired, exhausted, starving...is most definitely not the right time for being experimental concerning your choice of food. In those cases, salad, french fries, pizza and pasta are usually pretty save to order... even though you gotta be careful concerning the sauce/ topping. Eating giblets just because the waiter praises it as a country-specific delicacy is a total no-go. As is ending up with five slices of cheese instead of a big cheese wrap...speaking from my own experience here...


Those three rules have helped me survive even in the African wilderness. At least most of the time...Smiling at him couldn't keep the baboon from stealing my sandwich...

If you have made your own experiences I'd love to read about them in my comment section ; )