How to survive... homework...

This is my marketing tutorial homework.

CBS Students+Alumni

“CBS for Cologne”= CBS Students&Alumni quarterly support a social project (financially or physically) with the aim to help people living in Cologne (Concept of giving the city something back, we care about the city and the locals). Examples for social projects would be the support of a sports club for handicapped people (buying equipment), helping a kindergarten to build a new playground, buying toys for a children’s home or offering free coaching lessons for school kids.

Strategy:

• Own blog is opened, first entry introduces the topic, following entries describe the activities, including many photographs of the activities
• Blog is linked to other blogs dealing with either of the topics: cologne, charity organizations, charity activities, any of the institutions we want to help
• On the blog we encourage people to give us notice about other projects we could support, as well as calling for donations
• We create our own community “cbs-for-cologne”, initial members are all alumni and students
• The community provides a platform where we can discuss upcoming events and brainstorm for new projects to support
• The community is open for everyone who would like to participate by either donating, coming up with new ideas or physically help at one or more of the projects
• The platform as well gives an opportunity to stay in touch with people/ organizations we have helped, so we can track if our efforts helped
• The community has its own press release section, where we provide short summaries of our activities, including pictures, for the press
• Existing communities where we could present our organization: http://www.koeln-community.info/ , http://www.koeln.de/fruende/ , http://koln.vivastreet.de/community-leben+koln , http://www.k-community.de/ , http://www.spin.de/start/koeln

• Ideas for Viral Marketing Campaigns
• Blogosphere: short clip: “Bloggers for Cologne- CBS for Cologne” Clip shows impressions of Cologne, wonderful city, we want everyone living here to enjoy it, you can make this happen by helping us to make it happen- forward this video, blog about us”
• Ad Cards: available at Clubs, Bars and Restaurants in Cologne
• Community: Project: “Your cause- our aid- a new cause- your aid”, users are encouraged to present a project of which they think it should be supported (preferably with pictures), a jury picks one of them: this is the initial project. All members of projects which we have supported agree to help us support another project (domino effect)
• Important to communicate this project within the other communities and using the above mentioned ad-cards, so that many users participate
• High-pressure-cleaner: using a high pressure cleaner, write our mail address all over cologne (that way it is not illegal), record this and put it on youtube as a short clip

How to survive... eight hours of lecture

ok, it has been a loooong day and I will make this a super short entry.

Rule #1: Bring your laptop, your cell, large amounts of coffee and magazines.

Laptop= www.jetztspielen.de, cell= inform the rest of the world of your bad situation and enjoy their pitifulness, coffee= self explanatory, magazines= good means of keeping on conversation with your neighbours, even though you are extremely tired "hey, are you done with the vogue? can you pass it over? I'll give you the GQ in return. Does anyone have the spiegel?..."

Rule #2: Bring chocolate

Chocolate deserves it's very own sub point. it makes you feel happy. Prices at the cafeteria probably won't make you feel happy, therefore it's good to bring your own.

Rule #3: don't look at your watch

Checking the time just makes it pass slower. Stop it. Take a look outside instead. Usually there are interesting things going on which you can watch.

P.S. one more recommendation: check out the Alfred Jodokus Kwak episodes on the internet.

P.P.S. and after the long day: sleeeeeeeep....rrrpfffff...rrrrpfffff

How to survive... a grad ceremony after two hours of sleep

... and the cause of your sleeplessness wasn't you counting sheep all night.

Rule #1: send a double.

Especially, when there are several hundred people staring at you while walking up those shaky stairs it has been proven to be a good choice to let your look-alike do the walking, smiling, taking your report, waving. While you stay in bed and have a proper sleep.
Should you either not be lucky enough to have a double or feel an indescribable urge to attend the ceremony, go to rule number one. Otherwise you can stop reading here.

Rule #2: pretend to be super excited.

The good thing about a hangover and being super excited is that some of the symptoms match. Like you being all shaky, seeing your breakfast a second time, talking bullshit and having a smile on your face that goes from Newfoundland right to Moscow, all can be explain by your excitement. In the worst case, even fainting on stage won't make you appear in a bad light.

Rule #3: pretend to have a broken leg.

This will explain, why two of your friends will have to carry you on and off stage. Furthermore you will get all the good seats.

Alright, that's it. Hasta la vista everyone!

How to survive... a bad date

...when you have forgotten your cell phone= none of your friends can give u a call and rescue you.

Rule #1: don't get drunk!

Even though it might be very tempting at that moment, try and stay sober. Because after stage 1 "the only thing that's leaving his mouth is word vomit, but I am drunk and therefore I don't care" comes stage 2 "I am drunk and veeeery lonely and kissing him will stop him from talking bullshit" etc.etc. Another advantage of staying sober is that you will be able to think of better ways to get out of the date.

Rule #2: if there is absolutely no way that you can leave (e.g. your date is happening on a boat trip and jumping off the ship is not an option): make the best out of it!

Think about the good stuff! You (hopefully) are enjoying a good free meal/ free drinks, if you can manage to cut his talking out you can use the time to mentally re-arrange your apartment, create next week's shopping list in your head, figure out what to get your parents for Christmas etc.etc. Furthermore, you are figuring out which type of person you don't want to date, and if you carefully analyze the person, you might be able to avoid such dating mistakes with similar uninteresting people in the future.

Rule #3: Get sick

...or at least pretend it. Nobody will keep you from going home if you seem to have the worst stomach cramps/ headache of your life. You just have to be careful, that the person doesn't try to accompany you home. Therefore don't overact it.

Rule #4: 3...2...1...RUN!

if it is incredibly bad, and you don't know what to do, follow your basic instinct and run. (It is advisable to only run away from people if the chance of seeing them again is very small... Cause if you should happen to meet that person ever again, explaining why you suddenly tried to set a new record in short distance sprints will be very hard. Believe me...I tried.) Just make sure that you are faster than your date and that you are wearing shoes which are compatible for running. Playing Cinderella without wanting to sucks.

Alright, I'm off for today. Going for a run :)

How to survive... a flight over Greenland

...when you are afraid of flying.

Flying sucks. Flying over Greenland sucks even more. I have no clue why, but for some reason there seems to be no way to cross that white spot on the map without getting a good shake. For those of you who, just like me, frequently freak out while being shaken and are sick of the puzzled looks of the other passengers while breathing in a paper bag, trying not to hyperventilate, I have listed a couple of things that have turned out to be very helpful in those situations.

1. Write your memoirs an hour before you fly over the border

It's totally impossible to write in a readable handwriting while the plane keeps on dropping down 10 meters. Therefore in the end (if the paper survived the crash), nobody would be able to read them.

2. Take Gravol (in large amounts)

Gravol is THE innovation of the 20th century. It is only outplayed by the invention of illuminated pocket mirrors. It is an anti-nauseant...or at least, that is what it is supposed to be. I suspect it to be nothing else than a super strong sleeping pill. Once you have swallowed them, you have 30 more minutes to go. Then you are knocked out for about three to six hours. And even if you should wake up during the turbulences, at least you won't have to use the paper bags in front of you for emptying your stomach, but for supporting your breathing activities while hyperventilating.

3. Take your Gravol with something to drink, that has a number and a % sign on its bottle

(This is supposed to be a child-safe blog. Of course the % sign indicates the pureness of the apple juice you are taking your Gravol with). Once you have swallowed that combination, you are very unlikely to wake up before the plane takes down.


Well, that's it for today. Peacin' out!

How to survive... in a country whose language is unknown to you

(or whose language you are not fluent in)

This is what I have learned during a year in Canada and a Europe trip:

Rule #1: Wave and smile

This is the simplest and most basic of all rules. Occasionally you might wanna cut out the waving part, but smiling ALWAYS works (or at least in 99% of the cases). It propitiates the opposite party no matter if it is appropriate or not.
You might have experienced the situation yourself: you are in a country far far away from home, have met new people (locals) and are having a conversation with them...or at least they are having a conversation, you are physically present but have no clue what they are talking about. Suddenly the conversation stops and everybody is looking at you, with that expectant impression on their faces. So what do you do now? You smile. This will result in either:
a.) them smiling back and continuing their conversation
b.) them smiling back, realizing that you have no clue what they are talking about and then explaining the topic to you
c.) them looking extremely irritated
If c.) happens you have hit the 1% chance of being in a conversation where a smile is inappropriate... this means that the conversation must have been about something either sad or aggravating. A cough works very well as a transition between your smile and the more appropriate facial expression (try the disbelieving one first, then the sad one).

Rule #2: Don't believe in British English

or: asking for rubbers in French classes is inappropriate. This is true for all those of you who have, just like me, had British English in school. Whatever they told you: do not believe it! Who on earth would have guessed that asking for something as innocent as a rubber (or at least as innocent as in British English) during a French class causes the whole class to burst out into laughter, and me to turn bright red. It turned out that what I actually wanted would have been called an eraser in American English...what I had asked for was a condom. Therefore: always study the American English-British English section of your dictionary before traveling to an English speaking country.

Rule #3: The hungrier you are the closer you should stick to things you know at the menu (or at least can identify...)

Coming back from a five hour sightseeing trip, tired, exhausted, starving...is most definitely not the right time for being experimental concerning your choice of food. In those cases, salad, french fries, pizza and pasta are usually pretty save to order... even though you gotta be careful concerning the sauce/ topping. Eating giblets just because the waiter praises it as a country-specific delicacy is a total no-go. As is ending up with five slices of cheese instead of a big cheese wrap...speaking from my own experience here...


Those three rules have helped me survive even in the African wilderness. At least most of the time...Smiling at him couldn't keep the baboon from stealing my sandwich...

If you have made your own experiences I'd love to read about them in my comment section ; )